Memory One--> I am Different

I remember the frist time that I reolized there was something different about me and my causins.

I was probalby 5 or 6. I always knew that they went to a different church then I had, but so did many of my friends at school. It had never been a big deal. so at the time i did not think there was a problem, after all there are hundreds of churches. I did not understand the concept of denominations at the time.

I was with my family and we were visiting one of my aunts and uncle. They had 3 kids at the time. I was playing with the oldest. She was about 2 years older then me and we were both going through this phase where we both wanted to be inventers and liked experimenting with things. and we discuvered if you took this broken bike in their yard and turned it upside-down it looked like something from a Mad Scientist's lab... or at least something that Doc. Brown may have had in his labrotory as he saught to find a way to alter the space time continuem.

So we played with it. spinning leaves and mud and who knows what else over the tireless wheele and turned the peddles. I don't remeber what we were doing but we were having fun.

Then my causin asked a question that I don't remeber understanding. She asked me what religon I was. I grew up in the church. I was always at the church, I had no idea that there were other religons let alone people who did not have Jesus in thier heart, I don't even think I knew the name of the church I went to. I studdered for a wail and I can't remeber what I said, but I belive that I answered catholic. Probably because i had heard the word and knew it was something like what i did at church.

It was my causin's statment after I answered that stickes out in my mind. she said, "we're not supose to like eachother." then we went back to playing.

Psicologist often say that things we are told went we are young stick with us. that stayed with me, becasue it was then that I understood something even thought i might not have been able to put it into words. I was different then everyone else in my family. my family was different then all the families of my causins.

Although this analigy is a little extrem. It was like I was the only black kid in a neighborhood of white people and suddenly I reolized that I was different. for the first time I saw the panes of the window that was between me and my causins. I just did not know it at the time.